What Other People Who Haven’t Read This Book Had To Say About It

“When it comes to stand-up, online dating, and comedic writing, Traci Kanaan has a nice rack.”

—Robert Itschner, Jr., Facebook friend 

“Traci went on these dates so you wouldn’t have to!”

—John D. Hooper, Improvisational comedy performer and Comedy Fan

“A unique mash-up of sassy and sensitive, shyly transparent yet achingly acerbic, with a heart as big as… well, as big as those beautiful things she covers it with…”

—Georg William, went on a few dates with Traci

“Traci is the Queen of the blow-off… all without touching anyone! Funny answers to guys with no sense, or sense of humor. Online banter you wish you’d said.”

—Mark Byrne, The Balloon Guy, entertainer and colleague of Traci

“Some years ago, Traci Kanaan introduced herself to me, saying, ‘I get on stage, play piano, and tell dick jokes.’ That should tell you all you need to know about her viciously funny worldview. And this book, detailing her withering ripostes to online suitors, is a devastating peek into how a smart, confident woman looks for love—or something like it—while refusing to give up the yardstick by which she measures the inferior species.”

—David Abolafia, Writer, “Jeopardy!” champion, Scrabble lover, Mr. December 2009 “Real Men Wear Pink” 60-Mile Men calendar for the Susan G. Komen Foundation

“As a Comedy Booker and longtime friend, I can tell you that this beautiful and wonderful woman is not only Hilarious but a multi-talented Musical Genius, as well. SHOCKING that she is still single… Until you read her responses to her potential dates.”

—Larry Silver, Groucho Productions

“She is amazing, but I don’t kiss and tell. My wife might kill me. Okay, I’m not married at present time because I did kiss and tell.”

—Al Woods, Owner of The Social Club (TSC) in Nashville, TN, and Traci’s friend

“Online dating has never been so sassy! This book is a must have for anyone who has ever swiped right!”

—Michael Richards, met Traci at a hypnosis conference in 2016

“Traci’s comedy has always been hilariously stranger than fiction. It’s reassuring to see that her love life is no different.”

—Keith Kong, Mentalist, colleague of Traci

 “There’s not enough good things to say about Traci— as a friend, as a client, as someone who is a fantastic entertainer—she’s magnificent! Her stories of online dating are enough to keep you engaged and laughing all the way to the altar. Curl up with a beverage… and a napkin so you don’t spit your drink out laughing.”

—Michelle Mosher Rebahn, Comedy Fan & Traci’s insurance agent

“Traci was so funny I shit my pants. I mean, I pee’d my pants. Either way, bring extra pants.”

—Bob Hannaford, French Connection Events Owner, New Orleans, LA and has booked Traci for several of his events

“When I saw Traci’s picture, I couldn’t understand why she’d need online dating. When I read some of the responses she got, and her replies, I laughed, but also felt ashamed to be a man. Then I looked at her picture again and got over it.”

—Mike Brennan, Writer, divorced dad and Facebook friend

“Traci takes on dating ‘tongue in cheek’ – to keep other tongues outta her throat! She’ll have you rolling in the aisles and thanking your husband that you’re off the ‘meet market’ with the hilarious hijinks she endures all in the name of love – or at least dinner and a decent O!”

—Tiffany Marie McAnally, Comedy Fan, and yes, that’s her real name

“I went on a date with Traci and the entire time I was afraid I would end up in her act… (I’m not in this book, am I? Am I, Traci?)”

—Eric Bohner, went on a date with Traci, and yes, that’s his real name 

“I would rather take a punch to the nut sack than be on the receiving end of her sarcasm and wit.”

—Casey Kensinger, coincidentally, the undertaker for both of Traci’s parents